Reunification is the number-one goal for birth parents and their children once a child enters foster care. While you may have welcomed a child into your home for temporary shelter and stability, it’s important to remember that the ideal result is to reunite the child with their birth parents once the parents have proven that they are able to welcome their child back and provide them with skilled, sufficient care. Reunification may not always be possible or even probable, but all cases begin with that end goal in sight.

So, what does the journey to reunification look like? While every experience or circumstance is different from foster family to foster family, there are a few key occurrences, moments, or responsibilities that you can expect, and they all relate to partnership parenting.

Expect to Participate in Partnership Parenting

In order to optimize the mission to reunify a foster child with their birth parents, foster parents should be willing and able to participate in partnership parenting with the birth parents. We touched on what it means to be in a parent partnership with birth parents in our previous blog article, but to recap: Partnership parenting is a family-centered approach to foster care where foster parents and birth parents work together to care for the child and support the original family unit.

Partnership parenting:

• Encourages both the birth parents and the child to maintain their bond with one another
• Provides the birth parents with beneficial tools, lessons, support, and experiences they can use to prepare a safer, more stable environment for the child to return to
• Equips the birth parents with a parenting team made up of the foster parents and case manager, who all work together to support the parents’ journey to reunification.

In traditional foster care, birth parents are more isolated on their journey to reunification. They typically lose their bond with their child and are forced to develop their parenting skills without any practice, guidance, or support. Through partnership parenting, birth parents are better positioned to maintain their bond with their child, gain hands-on experience as they improve their parenting skills, and are more motivated with encouragement from their child’s foster parents and case manager.

What Does Participation in Partnership Parenting Look Like?

Participating in partnership parenting requires a few things from the foster parent and the birth parent:

Attend Meetings With One Another

When a foster child is placed in a foster home, the parents will meet one another in an initial meeting to introduce themselves and learn about one another. It’s crucial to approach this first meeting and all subsequent meetings with a supportive, positive outlook and be as open and honest as possible for the benefit of the child and the overall mission of reunification.

In every meeting between foster parents and birth parents, both parties should communicate respectfully and thoroughly with one another. If there is information to provide or questions to ask, each parent should be able to talk, listen, and share. Doing so keeps everyone in the loop, on the same page, and connected. Plus, open communication helps build genuine connections and relationships that further support everyone on their combined journey toward reunification. It fosters collaboration rather than division or isolation.

Stay In Communication With One Another Outside of Meetings 

From being available for phone calls to sending and answering texts and emails, birth parents and foster parents should maintain open lines of communication with one another. Things can come up, schedules can change, and questions can arise that either parent may need to reach out to the other to talk about. Allowing foster parents and birth parents to reach out to one another when necessary is not just for info-sharing, but it also helps establish trust and deepens the connection both sets of parents are building with one another.

Support the Child and Birth Parent Bond by Allowing for Virtual and In-Person Visits

One of the main goals of partnership parenting is to help the foster child and their birth parents maintain their bond and connection with one another. With assistance from the case manager, foster parents can ensure this happens by:

• Ensuring the child makes it to their supervised visits with their birth parents
• Allowing for phone calls, Facetime calls, and other forms of virtual family time
• Inviting the birth parent to attend their child’s appointments, events, or activities (so long as the case manager approves)

However you can help foster the relationship between the child and the birth parent, it’s essential to do so.

What Are Some Challenges of Partnership Parenting?

Partnership parenting is all about support and collaboration. However, it can pose some challenges, too:

Foster Parents Often Have to Navigate Through Some Hard Emotions

Separating a child from their birth parents is a traumatic experience that not many can understand unless they have experienced it themselves. There is a lot of emotional distress that both children and their birth parents must live with and work through. As a result, not every birth parent is going to be in a collaborative, supportive mood at every interaction. Foster parents may have to communicate with a parent who is angry, sad, distressed, or processing another hard emotion in the moment.

Plus, it can be hard to learn about some of the hardships your foster child faced while in the care of their birth parents. As a result, it might be challenging for a foster parent to channel their compassionate side when meeting or interacting with the birth parent.

Emotions can be tough, but it’s important to remember the bigger picture and set hard emotions aside (or not let someone else’s emotions get in the way) for the benefit of the child and the overall path toward reunification.

Foster Parents Need to Establish Some Boundaries and Stick to Them

It is important to maintain open lines of communication with the birth parent; however, it’s just as important to set boundaries with the parent. Foster parents also have a life filled with responsibilities and important events to attend to. Without boundaries, foster parents may become overwhelmed by too much communication or inappropriate forms of communication (for example, receiving phone calls in the middle of the night or incessant texts throughout the day).

For some, setting boundaries is a challenge, but it’s a crucial thing to do to help create a more harmonious relationship with the birth parent and provide the right support throughout the journey to reunification.

When working through hard emotions or setting boundaries, foster parents should remember that they are not alone—they also have support through their foster child’s case manager, partnering agency, and some of their own personal support system of family members, friends, and fellow foster parents.

Partnership parenting is a key factor when it comes to successful family reunification. To learn more about partnership parenting and how you can get involved as a foster parent, talk to the team at Generational Child Care.

We would love to speak with you about what it means to become a foster parent, what partnership parenting can look like, and what it takes to get started on your journey to fostering. If you’re ready to find out more, give us a call today at 478-477-1289 .

Recent Articles

Ways to Honor the Birth and Foster Parent Partnership

Things to Consider Before Becoming a Foster Parent

Fun Activities to Do With Your Foster Child

5 Tips to Help You Prepare for Your First Foster Care Placement