The late fall and winter season is a time for joining in on festivities, attending celebrations, honoring old traditions, creating new traditions, and, of course, making memories that last. If you are a foster parent, you may already know that the holidays can also stir up complex emotions in your foster child, from feelings of sadness and depression to feelings of uncertainty and exclusion.

As the holidays approach, consider the following tips about navigating the holidays within your foster home.

Validate Your Foster Child’s Feelings, Even the Tough Ones

It’s completely normal for your foster child to feel excited about the holiday season and sad about their circumstances at the same time. While they may have fun at every wonderful event or family get-together you take them to, from your foster child’s perspective, it’s still *your* holiday celebrations, not *their* family’s. This may not bother some foster children, but for others, the combination of positive and negative emotions can leave them feeling confused, overwhelmed, and even unsure about how to handle the joy of the season and the sadness of being away from home.

Or, if the holidays have always stirred up negative feelings due to past traumas, your child may maintain a negative attitude throughout the season, regardless of how joyful you may try to make it.

No matter why your foster child may express tough emotions, let them know that it’s okay to feel what they are feeling. Help them process their emotions in healthy ways, like talking about how they are feeling, journaling, drawing, or any other outlet that lets them get their feelings out in a safe and productive way.

Incorporate Your Foster Child’s Traditions Into Yours

Every family has their own way of celebrating the holidays—some families have tons of traditions that help keep the holidays vibrant and lively; some may only have one or two traditions; some might not have any at all. Ask your foster child about the traditions they are accustomed to and incorporate them into yours. Even if it’s something small or obscure, a little effort to add some familiarity to their holiday season can significantly lighten spirits and make your child feel even more welcome into your family. 

If your child is unable to offer any of their family’s traditions, ask them about some holiday activities they’ve always wanted to try. Or offer some ideas that they can choose from. Some fun traditions you can start with them can include:

• Making Christmas cookies
• Decorating gingerbread houses
• Writing letters to Santa
• Making ornaments
• Opening an advent calendar
• Visiting a Christmas tree farm
• Driving around to look at holiday lights

Or, if your child belongs to a family that celebrates a different seasonal holiday, such as Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or something else, find out the traditions they like to participate in from these holidays.

There are so many other ways to help your foster child experience the holidays in ways they like to celebrate or have always wanted to celebrate. Explore options together to discover what speaks to your child (and to you!).

Talk to Your Friends and Family About Your Foster Child’s Needs

You have been through the training necessary to become a foster parent, and, depending on how long they have been in your foster home, you have spent time getting to know and understand your foster child. Your friends and extended family members have not had the same opportunities to familiarize themselves with your child or become trained in the blunt and nuanced realities of welcoming a foster child into your home.

It’s essential to educate the people in your life who will be around your foster child during the holiday season. You want your circle to make your foster child feel safe, comfortable, and welcomed. Many times, that can only happen if everyone understands the circumstances and is on the same page with you about how to navigate the holidays with your foster child around.

Think About Logistics

There are plenty of activities to do and events to attend. But remember that there may also be visitations with biological family members, appointments with case managers, or even court dates that you and/or your child will be required to attend. Don’t over-extend or double-book yourself. Give you, your foster child, and any other family members the time to recharge as you plan out your holiday schedule(s). 

Focus on Making Positive Memories

You want your foster child to look back on their time with you and your family positively. By strengthening your connection with them, focusing on the joy of the season, and providing loving support for them throughout the holidays (and their entire stay with you), you can help ensure their memories remain positive ones that they will want to cherish. 

Want More Advice About Navigating the Holidays in Your Foster Home? Reach Out to the Team at Generational Child Care Today!

The holidays are a special, unique time that can be filled with joy, among many other complex emotions. We’re here to provide the support you need to navigate through every season as a foster family.

Are you interested in becoming a foster parent? We’ll be glad to help you on your journey! Just reach out to talk about to start the process: Call 478-477-1289 or email us at info@generationalchildcare.com.

Recent Articles

• 3 Signs You’re Ready to Start Fostering
• 4 Rewarding Reasons to Become a Foster Parent
• Family Reunification: What to Expect on the Road to Reunification
• Ways to Honor the Birth and Foster Parent Partnership

---